New Year's Resolutions 2008

One of my New Year's resolutions was to blog more, but I don't think that's going to happen. My greatness is going to have to trickle down, not flood down like I'm doing with the economy. Resolutions are stupid, anyway, because I'm already great. How could I get greater? Sure, I could get more disposable income--and I will--and I could live the good life--which I will--and I could take my world trip--first class--but...wait, I think those are my resolutions. Oh, and to kick more ass. I hope you're laughing, because that last one was a joke. It's not possible for me to kick more ass. Someone will have to find more asses. Better call Apoc...

Your next president

Who will your next president be? It doesn't matter, because I'm running in 2012, and that's what's important. To get my campaign rolling, I need money. That's right, you need to send me currency, so I can start this train a-rolling. I prefer tens and twenties. Hundreds are good, too. I'll take foreign currency, too, as it's not from some hippy country. Things will be great in 2012 if you just start sending me money.

Art is stupid

I hate art that doesn't look like anything. I can appreciate some paintings that look real, but I have no interest in looking at blobs and trying to figure out what they are. Blobs aren't art. Blobs are things that come out of the sink and eat people. That's not art.

my problem with religion

My problem with religion is that all religions have gods that don't reveal themselves. Why create the universe and then hide away? If I were a god, which I just might be, I'd create the universe and then say "Hey, you stupid people better worship me or I'll blow your planet up. Yeah! Mick Aloha! Dude." That's how I'd do it. I wouldn't create the universe, drop hints, and hope people figure out I'm real when there are people in religions that believe in non-Mick Aloha gods. It's the same way when I order fries. I don't order fries and then hide under the table. No, I order fries, wait for them to come, and then eat them. Everyone knows where I am throughout the process.
Mick Aloha has spoken.

Tony Almeida

So, I hear Tony Almeida's coming back to 24. Myself, I don't watch 24, but I know some people who do and they're pretty excited. I'm just wondering why they had to bring him back as a cyborg with a mechanical wang. Speaking of mechanical wangs, where can I get one? Seriously folks, it's tiny.

thoughts

Today, I was thinking about how great I am. Every great thing I thought about myself was so true.

Fan Fiction

I've been thinking recently about writing some Mentos commercial fan fiction. Maybe I should start a forum where people can post their Mentos commercial fan fiction. Who are those people in the limo? You'll just have to wait for me to post some of my fiction. This is the best idea I've come up with since the Ghost Molester, and that was a capital idea.