You say "appendectomy." I say "weight loss program."

So, I had my appendix taken out this week. Everyone made a big deal about it, but really it's nothing. It's just getting rid of my weakest part. The old appendix must have been what was holding me back.

My appendectomy has gotten me to thinking. What else is there inside me that I don't need? At first, they told me they thought it was my gall bladder that was making my stomach hurt. If it was, I think they would have just taken it out. People can live without gall bladders, so why do I still have mine? I knew a guy in elementary school who had a 4-wheeler accident and lost his spleen. He seems to still be doing all right. It seems like there's all kinds of extra crap in there that I don't need. All you religious believers out there will need to explain this to me. Why would God build people with so much extra crap? And, why did he shortchange me down below? For that matter, why did evolution shortchange me? Everyone's shortchanging me, when they need to be longchanging me. They need to be longchanging me and longbilling me. Giving me bills, like 100's, not sending me bills, like utilities. I get enough of those.

What else should I have removed? What do you think? I'll both listen to and respect your opinions, as long as the cash comes in. No cash, no listen.