Terror Birds

I was reading about Terror Birds today on Wikipedia. Terror birds, more officially known as Phorusrhacids, were carnivorous birds in South America that are now extinct. Now, I tend to think if an animal goes extinct, it deserved it. It's a natural process and it clears out the weaker animals. I wish Terror Birds were still around, though, because I'd like to know what they taste like. I bet they weren't as good as chicken, but I'd like to know myself.

dirty hippies

I can't believe it's already time for Burning Man again. Every year around this time, I get the urge to go out to the Nevada desert and kick some hippy ass. Goddam dirty hippies. 40,000 hippies vs. one Mick Aloha= a fair fight. Okay, not really. Those hippies wouldn't have a chance. I read on the Internet, the greatest source of information ever, that someone set the big wooden man on fire early and all of the hippies are pissed off. Pick up a water hose if you don't like it, hippies. Oh yeah, I almost forgot that hippies are lazy-assed sons of bitches. The good news is there will be less traffic in Palo Alto this weekend, so my hooker run will be even faster than usual.

Looking out for the Iraq

Have you seen the video of the girl talking about South Africa and The Iraq? If not, you're a dirty caveman, but here you go anyway.



Now, I know everyone thinks she's stupid and I've heard she's being humiliated all over the Internet, but I think she has a point. Why the fuck do South Africa and The Iraq have more maps than we do? America's number one, so we should be the number one haver of maps. I can't read a goddam map right now and you know why? That's right, I don't have one. Some commie in South Africa's navigating the tip of his index finger through Palo Alto as I try to figure out the fastest route to the closest Long John Silver's without going to Oakland. That's not right.

secret blog

Hello and welcome. I am Mick Aloha, but you may know me as the greatest man on earth. I'm tired of people writing bullshit on their blogs that I don't care about, so I started this blog so I can write about my favorite topic. Me. Why don't I just blog on my personal website (www.mickaloha.com)? Because fuck you, that's why. I'm Mick Aloha. I can do whatever I want. I can say fuck you and your ugly momma and there's nothing you can do about it, unless you like boot in your face.

Well, welcome to the blog.