I'm god-damned sick of the word avid

I'm god-damned sick of the word 'avid'. I'm sick of people saying, "I'm an avid reader." You're an avid asshole is what you are. Reading the god-and-damned funnies on the shitter every morning doesn't make you an avid reader. Read a book, you avid halfwits. Avid. That's a stupid fucking word.

Oh, and Thomas Crapper did not invent the flush toilet. He invented taking a dump in a bag, placing it on someone's stoop, setting that shit on fire, and then ringing the doorbell. Get it right. I'm an avid trivia master.

You know what software I use to edit my movies? Final Cut Pro, and I god-the-damned hate macs.

Send me some money so I can be an avid liver of the sweet life.